ecomorons.org

Location: Pasadena, CA
Climate zone: dry-summer subtropical, drought since 2006
Backyard of: the Ritz Carlton Hotel
Viewed by: e.g. people spending $549 (weekend rate) on the “Huntington Suite ”
Reasons to ask for money back: brown patches, no gardeners or power tools active when property was inspected by our lawn experts
Note to owner: We liked the squishy sound your lawn made when stepped upon. A slight increase of the modest room rates might provide the means for turning this lawn into an even soggier swamp. Go for it!

(photo: Backhouse Images)

Location: San Marino, CA
Signature landscaping style in town: lawns on the sidewalk
Climate: dry-summer subtropical zone
Conditions at the moment: drought
Community demography: according to US Census data, San Marino’s population was 12,945 in the year 2000; median household income was $117,267; the town covers an area of 9.8 kilometers (3.8 square miles) in Los Angeles County
If you do lawn tourism here by bike: you are probably doing something illegal. According to City Code chapter 13 you need to buy a $6 Dollar license to operate your bike “propelled wholly or in part by human power, upon any street, public path or way” within City Limits.
Note to owners: What did you do to that palm tree?

Location: Palm Beach, FL
Climatic conditions at the moment: drought
Owner: Nelson Peltz
Water use over past 12 months: 57,000 gallons a day
Water use of average single family household in Southern Florida: 54,000 gallons per year
In plain English: Mr. Peltz uses more water within 24 hours than an average home uses in a whole year.
How we know this: We read it in Robert Frank’s Wealth Report at the Wall Street Journal online.
Note to owner: We are aware that your next door neighbor is Donald Trump, who we featured in Insane Lawns (2). We suspect there is some kind of lawning contest going on between you two. We solemnly declare it a tie.

(photo: Sotheby’s)

Location: Palm Beach, FL
Climatic conditions at the moment: drought
Owner: Donald Trump. He put the property up for sale. Asking price: 125 Million Dollars.
Mystery: Why would anyone want to sell such a beautiful lawn?
Note to owner: Don’t budge on the price! Your lawn is worth much more.

(photo: Sotheby’s)

Location: Pasadena, CA
Climate: dry-summer subtropical zone
Conditions at the moment: drought; the City of Pasadena is experiencing its driest year since recordkeeping started in 1878
Survival of this lawn guaranteed by: excessive use of water, fertilizer, power tools

Note to owners: We think your lawn is too small. Please get a lawn-enlargement.