ecomorons.org

Seen in San Francisco.
The event pictured above was organized by the San Francisco Electric Tour Company.
Here are some thoughts about this:

“There are no rear-view mirrors on the Segway so the rider can’t see the people he’s just passed pointing at him and laughing.” (Encyclopedia Of Stupid)

“The Segway pisses me off. It is not only inefficient, complicated and expensive, it’s slow too.” (Panic With The Lazy Citizen)

“It’s a motorized scooter invented by a real, live mad scientist - Dean Kamen. It lets you go across dirt, up hills, through doors, forwards, backwards, left and right. Hey… wait a minute, can’t my legs do that?” (”Top Five Lame Gadgets” on kidzworld.com)

“I can’t think of a better symbol of how wasteful we can be than the Segway.” (Geekzone)

(photo: Backhouse Images)

This is the enMotion dispenser, manufactured by Georgia-Pacific (GP). The machine spits out a paper towel as you move your hand over the sensor at it’s front – using four big, beautiful, toxin-filled D-cell batteries to generate the necessary power.
According to GP spokesman Kelly Ferguson, more than one million specimens have been installed in bathrooms across North America since the product went on the market in 2003.
I asked Ferguson why his company has given mankind a towel dispenser that uses electricity for something that could easily be done with one quick hand motion.
“It provides”, he said, “a touchless type of bathroom experience. Some users have concerns about touching things in a public restroom.”
Oh. It’s ok. I understand. But I must point out that there is a downside to the touchless public toilet experience. In fact, it puts you at risk in many regards. Here’s why:
1) Limbo dancing under the stalls as a means to touchlessly enter the cubicle can result in premature disc degeneration on your lower spine.
2) Peeing hands-free, if you are male, can cause problems. It is considered safe only for females.
3) Being trapped in a bathroom for hours because no one else is there to tackle the doorknob for you will affect your mood and might lead to anxiety.

So if you value your health – don’t go for the touchless bathroom thing! Because, frankly, the enMotion is not as harmless as it seems.

PS: One big question remains. Why did any gym, any university or any office in this country ever order this dangerous, battery-powered beast? I’ll keep digging – but let me know if you solve this riddle first.

Just arrived at police stations around the country: the T3 personal vehicle.
The three wheeler looks like a cross between Rascal scooter and Segway. It is operated by a driver standing upright, at a maximum speed of 25 mph. Its power source: rechargeable batteries.

And this is the amazing thing: While it lets you get around at the speed of a bicycle, it does not have any of a bike’s unwelcome side effects. No more annoying burning of calories (except the few needed to keep you upright)! No more cardio workouts going uphill! No irritatingly toned legs! The T3 enables you to develop – and keep – your own personal love handles, double chin and double tummy!
As a special bonus, the machine even lets you waste energy as you benefit from its effects. You will have the privilege of changing batteries every 25, 50 or 75 miles, depending on battery type. It will leave you with the satisfying feeling of having pissed away resources for a task that you could have easily fulfilled with human power.
The desired results of the T3 seem to materialize immediately, as the above picture of an LAPD officer that appeared Saturday in the L.A. Times demonstrates.
Given the effects of the trike it’s safe to say that its engineers clearly knew what they were doing when they gave this thing a carrying capacity of up to 450 pounds. Go LAPD!